Weekly W.R.A.P Up

Watching
Mark Manson – Screw Finding Your Passion

Reading

Make two lists

On one list identify the grievances, disrespects and bad breaks:

  • People who don’t like you.
  • Deals that went wrong.
  • Unfair expectations.
  • Bad situations.
  • Unfortunate outcomes.
  • Unfairness.

It’s all legitimate, it’s all real. Don’t hold back.
On the other list, write down the privileges, advantages and opportunities you have:

  • The places where you get the benefit of the doubt.
  • Your leverage and momentum.
  • The things you see that others don’t.
  • What’s working and what has worked.
  • The resources you can tap.
  • The things you know.
  • People who trust you.

Now, take one list and put it in a drawer. Take the other list and tape it up on your bathroom mirror. Read the list in the drawer once a month or once a year, just to remind you that it’s safe and sound. Read the other list every day.

The daily list will determine what you notice, how you interpret what you see and the story you tell yourself about what’s happening and what will happen.

You get to pick which list goes where.

Picking your list is possibly the most important thing you’ll do all day.

Appreciating
Overnight Oats… I eat these every morning for breakfast they are seriously the greatest most versatile just best breakfast ever. Even on the days I really don’t see the point of getting out of bed I will at least get out to make these. I go to sleep looking forward to these.

Overnight Oats for One
1/2 cup Oats (I just rolled or steel cut Bod Red Mill’s GF Oats)
1 scoop Protein powder
1 cup Blueberries frozen  + any other fruit your feeling
1tbsp Cashew Coconut butter (I make this myself at home it is life changing but any nut butter will do)
+ Other toppings: coconut chips, cacao nibs, or banana chips… basically anything that makes your mouth water just add it on the top to complete this drool worthy breakfast.

Note: this is just the what I make for my breakfast personally but it should be adjusted to suit your desires so if you want more oats add bloody more oats, the more nut butter the better in fact go crazy… give yourself something to look forward to each morning. My overnight oats are like my own personal bowl of heaven!

Podcasting
The James Altucher Show: Ep 234 Charlie Hoehn – Getting Past Anxiety and Learning How to Play Again

  • Working for free to build networks and get the experience you require to master a skill. Everyone initially starts something and is bad at it, it is through practice and experience that you develop the skill and prove your worth.
  • “The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.”
  • Every human being plays and it’s a critical part of evolution as a way to practice and learn skills. It also allows humans to gain empathy, make connection and explore their environment.
  • Using  play to cure anxiety and depression:
    1. What were the activities when you were young that you did for fun without thinking of the outcome, but just doing it for the enjoyment.
    2. Try incorporating a few of these activities into daily life. Instead of meeting people for coffee or lunch, try meeting for a game of tennis, a hike or playing a board game. Remember it is PLAY it is not to be taken serious but rather as a bonding activity.
  • You ability to be productive and work actually relies on your ability to play or take time to do things you enjoy.
  • Majority of success people would do what they are doing regardless of what they are being paid. It is often through actually doing something you enjoy or for your own benefit that a compound of effect occurs and success comes through passion. Its approaching life from a place of playfulness.
  • Play It Away: A Workaholic’s Cure for Anxiety by Charlie Hoehn

I really needed this podcast this week. I’ve been struggled with my mental space and motivation. I often find myself wondering what the point is of anything, having no motivation to get out of bed, dreading each day and just lacking the ability to enjoy anything. Sometimes it feels as though I’m simply not capable of being happy or enjoying life and that thought terrifies me, I keep telling myself and trying to have hope that it will get better but I’m terrified it won’t. Unfortunately when you have spent so long being trapped in your mind I think feeling happy or enjoyment is harder work than feeling nothing at all, you have to fight your own mind and it’s a fight not easily won. I’m still fighting everyday and every day I question why I bother and wonder if it’s all even worth it but I keep fighting sometimes even if it’s just by making it through the day. This podcast came to me in a time of need, I needed to be reminded that we need to find things we enjoy in life to give us meaning, when you are sick for so long and when you identity has been stolen by an illness especially a mental illness it’s easy to forget that you did once enjoy things. I can’t even remember a time where I just enjoyed something and just did something for fun, so that’s what I want to get back to, I want to get back to being able to do something, anything and not waiting for it to be over. I want to find something that gives me a reason to get out of bed and not waste another day drowning in my own caused self misery, the hardest thing with a mental illness is that often you have to choose to save yourself because no one else can do it for you. And I honestly don’t know if I’m even worth saving but I just have to hold on to that small amount of hope that it is going to get better, but it’s only going to get better if I keep trying.  Even when I’m exhausted and don’t see the point, that’s when trying is the most important thing you can do, just do the motions, do what you know you should, it’s that concept of fake it till you make it. I hope that even I keep trying to recover if I keep doing the motions if I keep trying that eventually I won’t have to try at all. We may not be designed to be happy but we are definitely not designed to be miserable, we are designed to survive and we each just need to find are own unique ingredients of life that make our particular recipe of life liveable. xx

Weekly W.R.A.P Up

Sorry this week’s WRAP up is a little late, but nevertheless here it is!! Hope you enjoy. xx

Watching
The Keeping on Netflix

This show is the perfect mix of drama, crime & mystery if your into that stuff, I seriously sat down and watched the whole season in one sitting it was that good.

Reading

An overlooked secret to effectiveness (and happiness)

Knowing where ‘enough’ is.
More might be better for awhile, but sooner or later, it can’t always be better. Diminishing returns are the law, not an exception.
If we look to advertisers, marketers, bosses, doctors, partners and suppliers to tell us when we’ve reached ‘enough’, we’re almost certainly going to get it wrong.
It’s okay to stop when you’re happy.
Is more always better? Sometimes, only better is better…

Found on Seth Godin’s Blog.

Appreciating
Buddhify meditation app.

I know everyone often recommends Headspace or Clam but this one is by far my favourite. There is only one up front cost for the app, none of that subscription stuff and then you have access to guided meditations for basically everyone moment in life. I look using it every morning and before I fall asleep at night or even just in the middle of the day when I just need to take a second to reconnect with the present moment and not let myself get too caught up in my head. It’s the perfect meditation act for any moment and for any lengthen of time. So try it out!!

Podcasting
Good Life Podcast : Time Ferriss The Story Beyond the Tools

You may be noting a theme with my podcasts I swear I do listen to more than just Tim Ferriss related episodes but he is also my major brain crush and just everything he says is genius and inspiring. His podcast and listening to any interviews he does are like gold mines of enthralling insight that I find fascinating and so relevant. His ability to excel and experiment in life I find inspiring and I also find his opinion to be refreshing and real. So basically listening to anything Tim has to say is well worth the time and usually noteworthy.

My Personal Podcast Summary:

  • Money:
    • Different types of people with money (old money, self made money, married into wealth, cant actually afford it but pretend like they can.
    • There are different ways to spend wealth. Money just makes you more of who you are and often exaggerates the negatives more than the positives.
    • Money can not buy you out of anything and should not be used to fix your problems.
  • The importance of having some form of meditation practice to help in maintaining deep focus and being present, while improving quality of life. Whether its guided meditation, mantras,  yoga or exercise some form of practice that allows you to observe your own thoughts and feelings so you can better respond to situations. It also allows you to maintain focus in any situation while also becoming less reactive, which helps not only in performance but also in gratitude.
  • Spending time with your parents and appreciating them, because once you leave home you have already spent approximately 90% of the in person time you will have with your parents.
  • Making a habit of taking time each day to stop and take note mentally of 3 things to be grateful for and just appreciate what already is.
  • Being a teacher and learning how to do anything. And then using your skills to help make people better than you.
  • Spending time aboard as a way to gain perspective, find yourself and grow.
  • Having a good life is having a deliberate life. And when having to say yes and no to opportunities and whether or not they align with the essences of who you are and want to be.
  • The need to improve yes/no filters in your life, when you reach a certain point of success. When your beginning it’s good to say yes to most opportunities but as you grow and define your life you need to begin to say yes to only the ‘hell yes’ in life and no to everything else.
  • “Every decision you make costs you something.”
  • Looking at opportunities and situation in what meta-skills you can learn and develop which can then be transferred to other areas in life.
  • Learning that if you don’t look after yourself first you are unable to look after the people around you.
  • The importance of seeing beauty in things that are meaningless. It is liberating it is to learn how to appreciate and do things that are beautiful but purposeless, rather than trying to always find the meaning in life.
  • Star gazing mediation to clam anxiety and gain perspective on life. (I do this whenever I get back from a night time run and it is honestly one of the most calming and beautiful practices that has always help no matter how impossible everything feels, star gazing has always helped given me perspective and just appreciation.
  • If you never learn how to appreciate the small things and wins in life you will never be able to enjoy the big wins.

Weekly W.R.A.P Up

Watching
John Wick Movie

This was seriously one of the best bad ass action movies I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t understand how I have gone this long without seeing it, I feel like an action movie fraud because I was yet to appreciate this gem. It was like the perfect mix of everything in 90 minutes. To make this better there is a second one that’s just been released.. So I know what  I’m going to be seeing next week in the cinema…

Reading
The Tail End on waitbutwhy.com

This blog post Tim Ferriss has been recommended on several podcasts I’ve been listening to and I finally got round to reading it. And god I’m glad I did. It essentially puts a human life in visual perspective and give you some scary facts like by the time we have graduated high school you have already spent ~93% of your in-person time with your parents. Considering I’m currently in New Zealand visiting my grandparents this post really hit home about making the most of the short time we have on this Earth. It is so easy at times to get caught up in the stress of the world and lose perspective so I found the way this post illustrated time in visual images particularly useful for regaining perspective of time.

The 3 Main Points:

  1. Live in the same place as the people you love and maximise the time you spend with them.
  2. Make a list of the priorities in your life that matter.
  3. Time is precious so appreciate and make the most of it.

Appreciating
The little things in life, like getting to feel the wind on my face and feel the air soak into my chest as I run. I’m currently over in New Zealand enjoying a week with my grandparents so I’m taking a moment to step back and appreciate each moment with them while learning from their wisdom and laughing at the lessons they have learnt. It’s been nice to take this time to just stop and appreciate being, breathing and nothing more. No expectation but rather just enjoying the meaningless beauty that the world holds. I’ve been loving going for a nice long run each day in the cool winter air, getting to feel the crisp breeze and the burn and just being present. I’m naturally incline to feeling as though nothing is ever enough that there is always more or better. So I find it really therapeutic to occasionally just catch myself and bask in the moment of life rather than looking towards the future.

Take a moment to go outside and breathe, feel your chest expand with air and exhale with letting it rush out. Just be there in the second. Appreciate the fact that your breathing and your hearts still beating, because being alive means no matter how much pain your in you have the chance to change it, while your still alive anything is possible. It’s truly a beautiful thing to sometimes just take a second to just appreciate, appreciate it all.

Podcasting
Good Life Podcast : The Truth About Money and Happiness

This was a really engaging podcast which brought me some further enlightenment around the topic of money and happiness. I’ve always felt a lot of resentment towards money and that it always controlled me, I think mainly because I’ve grown up in a household where no matter how much money we made, we never had enough. Also currently not have a steady income tends to make me feel very insecure in my finical future and out of control. The fact is it’s true that money makes the world go round and to some degree it certainly can buy happiness, but this podcast brought to light some new arguments and research findings for me to consider. Money matters but it isn’t everything and it definitely does not guarantee happiness.

My Personal Podcast Points:

  • Old research showed that happiness does not increase once income meets ones basic needs and any money above that does not improve happiness levels
  • NEW research showed that there is no gap in the income and happiness/life satisfaction meaning that happiness is seen to increase exponentially with income (the more you earn the happier you are)
  • BUT this research doesn’t take into account how people are spending their money… can you buy happiness in the way you spend money?
  • Money doesn’t buy happiness is WRONG because money allows you to buy better health and time SO if money can technically buy happiness why doesn’t it?
  • The PROBLEM is people don’t understand what truly makes them happy. Rich people simply buy the same but more expensive things as poor people which don’t make them happy.
  • 5 Ways to Spend your Money that Increases your Happiness
    1. Buy experiences not stuff. Key to this also to do experiences or activities that fully engage your mind. Stuff will not make you happy but experiences you can enjoy and remember can make you money.
    2. Spend money on other people. Giving connects you to other people, and it doesn’t matter if they are a stranger.
    3. Choose many little things over one big thing. Try spreading small sources of happiness over time instead one big moment of happiness (this prevents your happiness scale from adapting so you are still able to appreciate and enjoy small sources of happiness.  (example break a small chocolate bar into 4 pieces and enjoy it over 4 days rather than eating the whole bar at once)
    4. Pay before you play, delay the gratitude. Instant gratification is a serious cause of unhappiness, because we no longer know how to wait. Waiting and anticipating something and getting the imagine it ‘perfectly’ makes you happier than the reality.
    5. Buy time. Time has become one of our most precious asset in a time poor world. So spend time on things that will ultimately give you more time to do things that makes you happy.
  • As income rises, life gets better. BUT it is more about how you spend your money rather than the fact you have more money.
  • Make more MONEY to make a more MEANINGFUL and therefore happy life.

Weekly W.R.A.P Up

Wearing
My track pants like everywhere, it’s almost becoming a problem because I honestly don’t think I’ve gotten changed in the last week. And you know what I’m not even made because I’ve been so dam comfy.

Reading
Derek Sivers Book Summaries – “So Good They Can’t Ignore You” by Cal Newport

This was such a refreshing take on passion and people’s futures. It basically discusses how the concept of teaching people they need to find passion to achieve happiness and fulfilment is total bull. Instead it discusses how to have a successful and valuable career or future people need to actually determine what skill they what to excel at and how that can contribute to the world. He then goes on the discuss how it is through mastering a particular useful skill set that makes you valuable and transferable that people then develop their passion through using that skill. So instead of following passion we should be developing a desirable skill and combining that with an interest and its through growing in ones work and mastering a skill that passion is created. When considering you future think of your interests, a skill and how you can combine those to make a difference in the world. That will almost always lead to meaningful and happy life.

I’ve been thinking about this post a lot and also listen to several podcasts that interviewed Cal Newport where he further discussed the concept of skill mastery then passion development. Through pondering this I’ve realised that through my studies I haven’t really developed any desirable skills other than being good at school so now I’ve focused my goals for my future to be much for towards developing a skill that will allow me to contribute and make for useful to the world. We all have a skill or can develop a skill we just need to find out what it is.

Appreciating
New Quest Bar Mocha flavour:
I wasn’t sure what to expect when trying this flavour considering I’m absolutely obsessed with the Oatmeal Choc Chip flavour but hated the Rocky Road. But this flavour was like the perfect combination of the chocolate chip quest bar with a hint of coffee. So so good so definitely give it a try if you get the chance!

P.s. Pro tip if you microwave for 45 seconds or bake for 10-15 minutes it is life changing like imagine a perfect protein packed cookie with all the goodness.

Podcasting
The Tim Ferriss Show #241: The Relationship Episode: Sex, Love, Polyamory, Marriage, and More (with Esther Perel)

This was seriously such a fascinating listen discussing what we define relationships as and commitment. It just shed some interesting light on how and why we structure relationships, telling the truth and always considering the why of anything.  I loved that it also how it brought attention to how we do so much in society for ourselves to improve ourselves and in that we have isolated ourselves which has been our greatest downfall. We should in fact be doing things for others and everything we should think of the other person first before considering what it does for yourself.

Happy Weekend you beautiful people. xx

 

Weekly W.R.A.P Up

So I thought I would start these weekly W.R.A.P up posts! Which as suggested essentially are a weekly summary of things I’ve been Watching, Reading, Appreciating and Podcasting. I thought this would be a really good way for me to let you guys know certain things I’ve found insightful and helpful through the week with day to day life and my recovery. Plus I would love any suggestions or recommendations anyone has of things to look into!!

Also I’m going to start posting at least weekly some on recovery information that I’ve found particularly useful in my recovery journey, and wondered if there are any topics in particular people are interested in?

But here is my weekly W.R.A.P Up this week! Hope you enjoy. xx

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Watching

Forensic Files on Netflix

I have been recommended to watch this so many times because I’m basically obsessed with crime shows but I’ve kept putting it off. This week I finally got round to watching it and I’m so glad I did. They are super short 20 minute episodes about real life crimes that have been solved. I find it so fascinating to see the different crimes that are discussed and honestly just to see the ridiculous excuses people use to justify murder or crime. Plus getting to an insight into the real life science used to help with solving these crimes I’ve also found super interesting and it is amazing to see how far we have come in our crime solving abilities. So it’s definitely worth checking out! Plus did I mention there is like 100+ episodes… it is seriously dangerous in the best way possible.

Reading

Decoding Anorexia – How Breakthroughs in Science Offer Hope for Eating Disorders
By Carrie Arnold

I found this to be one of the most helpful books to my recovery and one that I often find myself turning back to during times of struggle and doubt. It not only provides a realistic and personal insight into the struggle of anorexia recovery, while also providing scientific evidence to support and explain the ‘voice that is anorexia’. It reminds you that you are not alone or at fault in your struggle and not only is there a reason why BUT there is also hope for recovery. I will be releasing a full book summary of this book this week that I personally found fundamental and regularly turn to for a reminder.

Appreciating

I’ve been appreciating slow yoga practice with hip openers. Focus and allow yourself to feel that release in a stretch, let the energy and pain flow through and out you, attention on breath and breathing deep and full. I have found slowing down and letting myself enjoy a stretch rather than focusing on the workout very peaceful and fulfilling this week.

Flexibility Flow with Action Jacquelyn

Podcasting

I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts this week but this particular one I really enjoyed where Jocko and Tim delve into depression, suicide and success. I found the topics enlightening and really enjoyed Tim’s advice of self care and how we should view our future path. And just always remember you never have to be alone in your struggle.

Jocko Podcast #50 Time Ferriss – darkness & how to stay on the path, last days of life & what to do, back up plans, misconceptions

  • Advice on getting out of ‘depression funk’
    1. Exercise & Movement daily
    2. Stoicism – reading Annaeus Seneca or Marcus Aurelis > or by planned practicing of stoicism in daily life
    3. Meditation/Mindfulness practice whether its traditional meditation, journaling, physical activity etc
    4. Alternative small goals = doing something that will allow you too see progress > learning how to do a handstand > gives you something to focus on and strive towards that is also possible with practice
    5. If you cant make yourself happy do something to make someone else happy
  • Behaviour Modification
    • Committee to less than you think you can consistently for at least 5 days > want to start running then committee to walking for 5 minutes a day at least 3 days a week OR 3 knee push ups a day > START SMALL and ACHIEVEABLE  > this removes performance anxiety or procrastination
    • Break the task down into small individual tasks > ex swimming involves floating in water, face in water, directly body down to allow it to float, kicking/moving feet, arm movement
    • Provide incentives to achieve > ex betting pools, accountability factors, money (www.coach.me or www.stickk.com) > give yourself a physical reason to actually do the behaviour because knowing what to do is not enough > people NEED REASONS
  • Other personal take homes
    • Isolation is a killer
    • The need to stop searching for more and instead taking the time to enjoy what you already have > stop trying to label or define everything
    • Becoming better learners and learn how to learn faster, managing fear & learning to be aware and incorporating stoicism
    • Cognitive biases in humans, the difference between causation and correlation
    • Everything is environmentally situational > look at the environment then at what the situation requires to achieve at it
    • Discipline = Freedom
    • No one owns you anything